“Unexplained Mysteries”
“Lynn, I’m taking off early today, got a date with the wife. Don’t worry, I locked the office”
“Okay, Mr. West.. You have fun now!”
“……………..”
*Click*
“!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
*Later*
“When’d you sign him Jerry?”
“Good question…. I have no freaking idea!”
“I came to the office this morning and the paperwork was all finished”
“Walker and Friends”
-Season 3-
“Episode 13: Judge Walker”
“Your honor, this man broke the terms of my contract”
“Do you have any proof of this?”
“Yes I do your honor! Right here in Section 3B, it reads ‘you are not allowed to steal Dirk’s manhood’ in bold print! Mr. Nelson here clearly did!” 
“It’s true I did”
“There! Right from his own mouth your honor”
“I’m sorry I wasen’t paying attention… What was it you said Mr. Nelson?”
“What? I didn’t say anything”
“Stop your lying Nelson!!! No matter, I brought a witness… Dirk!”
“Is what this man saying true, Mr. Nowitzki?”
“Yes… It’s true… I was violated…”
“I brought this photograph as proof of the theft”
“Nelson should have to pay for emotional damage sustained by Dirk! Your honor, my witness can no longer even yell at Terry.. He laughs at him! As do I….. The point is Nelson owes me!”
“Objection your honor! I brought my own witness”
“Oh goody!!! Bring him out”
“In 2006, I just wanted to greet Dirk, but he kicked me! He kicked me right in the pedal!!”
“Objection! The bike had no place in that hall!!”
“Objection overruled Mr. Cuban”
“I don’t see a problem with what the Warriors did… I do it all the time”
“My head hurts… I’m calling for recess. If you need me I’ll be outside shooting 3s”
“There’s no baskets here Judge Walker”
“Who said anything about baskets?”
“Walker and Friends”
-Season 2 Finale-
“Episode 12: King of the Jack”
“Damp, a little to the right!!!!!!”
“What the hell was that?! Croshere could have made that!!! Croshere! Damp, get your ass to the bench right now!!”
“Sorry coach, I’m a little stressed out.. I’m in this contest and -”
“Contest???!!! Contest!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“I don’t want to look at you right now! Contest!!! Mark’s gonna hear about this! Get your ass to the locker room”
“I gotta relieve the stress… I suppose just this one time Shaq won’t find out”
“Just this one time”
“Looks like you’re out”
“Shaq?! What are you doing here!!! Oh god! Why does it burn!!!!”
“Oh that, you may want to check what’s in that lotion bottle”
“I call it Icy Hot”
“I got a patch too for what’s left of it Erica”
“You bastard!!”
“Oh you crying Erica?? Because.. I…”
“Won The Contest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“I am Master of my Domain”
“And so ends Season 2 of Walker of Friends with the King of the Jack revealed to be Shaq”
“Walker and Friends”
-Season 2-
“Episode 11: Master of Your Domain”
“Nice job out there Joey”
“That’s it Cassell, I’ve had it with your crap. You’re out of here!!!”
“That’s bullsh*t! You can’t throw me out Joey. I didn’t do anything!!!”
“Do something! He can’t just toss me! We’re gonna miss the playoffs if I go out!”
“Okay you know what? That’s fine. This one’s for you Joey”
“Sam, what the hell are you doing?!!!!”
“I’m out”
*Over in Miami*
“Walker!!!!”
“You’ve shot your last 3! If I see you practicing that shot one more time I’m sending you home for good!”
“But what will I do with my free time coach?”
“I don’t care! Just find something constructive to do! Now get out of my sight!”
“Yes coach”
“Walker for threeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Ah!!!! Damn it Walker!! It’s all over the walls!!!!”
“I’m out”
“And so there were two! Who will win The Contest? Find out on the season 2 finale of Walker and Friends!”
“Walker and Friends”
-Season 2-
“Episode 10: The Contest”
“I was alone…”
“She caught you”
“Yes… I was not master of my domain”
“We should have a contest”
“I’m in”
“You’ll be out before we leave the coffee shop Griffin”
“Okay so it’s set, who’s in?”
“IN!”
“Hey!!! What about me guys”
“I don’t know if you can join Erica, it’s different for you”
“Will you stop with that Erica stuff, come on let me in”
“Fine, stop your crying Erica. We’ll see if you can be queen of the castle”
“Okay so it’s the five of us! Everyone go $100 in”
“Erica should have to go $150 in”
“Damn it Shaq!”
“I’m out”
“And so there were four. Who will win The Contest? Find out on the next episode of Walker and Friends”
“Walker and Friends”
-Season 2-
“Episode 9: Origins of Toine”
“It’s alive!!!!!”
“Yes!!! Success!!!”
“By combining the DNA of Larry Bird and Wilt Chamberlain I have created the ultimate basketball player!”
“Come see the amazing Walker!!! Best player in the world”
“I’m glad you all came here today. What I’m about to show you is the 9th wonder of the world! The best player of all time, the future G.O.A.T if you will. He has been achieved through my genius!!”
“Release the curtains!!!!”
“Behold my genius!”
“No!!!!!! Nooooooooooooooo!!!!! Stop shooting so many threes!!!!!”
“Nice try Jim”
“My.. My genius….”
“Walker and Friends”
-Season 2-
“Episode 8: You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry”
“Hey Toine, come with us. Coach is giving out free donuts in the locker room.”
“Oh boy free donuts!!!”
“I don’t understand guys there’s no donuts in here. Why’d you call me off the court?”
“You know we care about you Toine. But I think you need to come to terms with something.”
“I don’t understand”
“You shoot too many damn 3s Walker! Isn’t it obvious?!”
“You guys are making me angry… You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry”
“Oh no Walker is mad guys!”
“Get a grip Walker or I’ll have you on the bench quicker than Doleac”
“……….”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”
“Damn, hell’s wrong with you Walker?”
“Guys this doesn’t look good… I think he’s turning into… into…”
“TOINEZILLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Oh no what’s that over there”
“No it can’t be… We just rebuilt last week. Not… Toinezilla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Tell me not to shoot 3s and deceive me with donuts will you.. No sir I don’t like it”
“Walker and Friends”
-Season 2-
“Episode 7: Late Again!”
“Tell me it’ll be like this forever Antoine”
“Damn! Another dream. Looks like I better get to practice. Hmm… I don’t have alot of time. Better put on the special shoes”
“Oh no, I’m gonna be late again. Maybe I should just call in sick and go back home. Coach will make me run again otherwise.”
“Hey Coach, come here and look at this on the TV… Isn’t that?
“Who are all these people behind me?”
“Walker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
*Later*
“How does he always know?”
“Walker and Friends”
-Season 1 Finale-
“Episode 6: Mike Dunleavy: Private Eye”
“It’s my baby man. Gina! I don’t know what’s going on with her.”
“I’ve been yelling GINNNNAA GINNAA, all week along! And she hasn’t come once! I don’t like it detective Dunleavy, I don’t like it at all.”
“Hmmm. Interesting you should say that because I actually found some fascinating dirt on Gina. Pretty much right through talking with your friend Tommy at his job”
“Why you gotta joke around like that bro? Tommy ain’t got no job! Seriously what do you have for me?”
“No bull Martin, you might wanna come with me.”
*Hour Later*
“No. No it can’t be! GINNNNAAAAA!!!!”
“Baby, baby how could you do this to me? Another man! After all we been through! This is how you repay me?!”
“Man this really is a party”
“Oh no, you ain’t even gonna try putting this on me! Maybe if you had been there Martin, this wouldn’t have happened!”
“You know what forget that! Who the hell do I hear hiding back there, don’t tell me there’s more GINNA!”
“You can come out now Antoine, Rob”
“I hit it”
“So did I. Told ya’ll I was clutch!”
“You know what just forget you GINNNA! You can get to steppin”
“That’s fine with me, Martin”
“Is he gone yet guys?”
“Yeah he’s gone Billy”
“Wooh that was a close one”
“Walker and Friends”
“Episode 5: Dirk’s Daddy”
“Thank you all for coming, Dirk’s daddy is indeed someone in this room”
“The daddy is…”
“Hey who’s screwing with the lights?”
Who is screwing with the lights?
Is it:
“Officer Barbrady?”
“David Hasselhoff?”
“The light it’s back up”
“But I can’t find the result paper! Where is it guys?”
“The door’s locked! We’re trapped!”
“I hope you all realize what we may be dealing with here. Some of us might have to be eaten so others can stay alive”
“But how do we decide?”
“There’s only one answer… Tyrone Lue”
“Yes no one gives a sh*t about Tyrone Lue”
“No guys, come on!”
“Forget that guys I found the picture. But before I reveal it, anybody watch that Spurs/Jazz series last month? That was quite th-”
“Nobody watched it! Just tell us already damn it ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
“Very well. Dirk’s daddy is indeed somebody in this room. It’s Stephen Jackson!”
