July 26, 2010 · 4 Comments · By Nir Regev
Trouble is reportedly brewing in Miami as new superstar Lebron James has privately requested that fellow teammate Dwyane Wade be traded for Hornets star, Chris Paul.
Lebron’s friend and agent, Maverick Carter, is already rumored to be selling another one hour special to ESPN entitled, The Decision: Part II.
The self proclaimed ‘King’ James will put Wade on the hotseat, and decide if he truly wants him on the team or wish him best on his future endeavors in New Orleans.
April 29, 2010 · No Comments · By Nir Regev
Gilbert Arenas has given a statement to the media today stating it’s not his fault.
Gil says he was emotionally invested by the videogame known as ‘Halo’ and was caught up in a world not his own.
“I didn’t know what I was doing. I wasn’t in control. I thought I was Master Chief but probably I was just an idiot.”
Gilbert is believed to be one of 14 players who still refuse to disconnect from Halo 2’s online service going by the handle ‘xxGILBOWIZJAILxx’
January 4, 2010 · 1 Comment · By Nir Regev
Ed Stefanski is reportedly unhappy with how the Sixers are playing. “The coaching staff, the players, we’re all not happy, I’ve got to do my job!”
Eddie Jordan however, is happy with the teams 10-23 record, claiming marked improvement over what he originally expected. “When they let go of Andre, I thought oh man, I’m gonna get fired, but here I am!”
Nevertheless, the Sixers have big things to look forward to after such victories over the league best Nets and a Nuggets team missing half their starting lineup. Most likely the lottery.
November 22, 2009 · No Comments · By Nir Regev
BSPN believes in double checking our sources, which is why we have an open submission system! Anyone can post literally anyone, as long as it involves:
Lebron, LBJ, Lebron James to the Knicks, Lebron James wears Yankee cap, Lebron James spotted with Jay Z (in NYC), Lebron James pisses in nyc bathroom, Lebron marks territory etc.
Go on! Submit!!!
July 16, 2009 · No Comments · By Nir Regev
Rubio’s agent Dan Fegan has given notice to the Timberwolves that Ricky loves the franchise, and can’t wait to play for them.
However, he feels the Timberwolves would be better off in another city, preferably one with beaches and beautiful women. So not Minnesota.
“We’re not asking for much, Ricky and me simply feel the Timberwolves would be better off somewhere else” Fegan stated.
Rubio has also requested Johnny Flynn remain in Minnesota after the Timberwolves find a new home.
July 14, 2009 · 2 Comments · By Nir Regev
Rasheed Wallace has threatened to retire if the Celtics choose to place him in the starting lineup.
“I can’t be effective playing this way. I’m not used to it. It’s tough for me both mentally and physically.
Friends close to Wallace say he wants to shoot threes from the bench and no more than 1-2 minutes per game.
July 12, 2009 · 1 Comment · By Nir Regev
Donnie Walsh was given the cold shoulder and had his advances rejected earlier this week. Both Jason Kidd as well as Grant Hill gave the greenlight to call, and even personally stored their numbers in Walsh’s cell.
However, neither picked up. After listening to Jason’s voicemail seventeen times in one hour, Walsh knew it was over.
Internal sources say Walsh went into a frenzy, screaming about how “he doesn’t need Kidd or Grant anyway”, writing 2010 all over his office walls, and demanding everyone hold hands and pray for Lebron.
One anonymous source claimed complete madness, citing one employee who was fired for failing to drink vitamin water. Another employee was similarly let go for forgetting a new Knicks policy of not shaking hands in preparation for James.
July 11, 2009 · 2 Comments · By Nir Regev
BSPN has learned the now infamous dunk tape will be auctioned for charity. The winner however, will have to sign off on one agreement.
Nike has attached a ‘no Youtube’ clause meaning the winner can not show the video nor spread it around the internet.
Only one person will enjoy the schadenfreude of the shameful dunk. No one else.
Rumor has it Lakers Kobe Bryant and Ron Artest as well as Heat guard Dwayne Wade are among the prospective bidders.
The auction will begin at noon tommorow at
June 10, 2009 · No Comments · By Nir Regev
The New York Times reports the NBA as a leading employer for women for 2009.
Coincidentally, FIU is no longer a leading employer for women. Isiah Thomas could not be reached to comment.
June 2, 2009 · No Comments · By Nir Regev
Chicago Bulls fans can rest easy tonight knowning there is no proof of Derrick Rose SAT sheningans.
Several likely suspects were tested, however, none scored quite low enough to provide evidence of tampering.