When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong: Blatche Edition

January 8, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong”

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“There she is rookie, I told you this spot was hot! Now get a 100… Consider it a finders fee…”

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“Hundred?! You must be out of your mind Karl.. I’m not paying that kind of money. I keep it real!”

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“Suit yourself”

*Later*

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“I ain’t paying no hundred, I can find my own…”

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“Looking for some action?”

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“I certainly am”

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“Wait a minute!!!! Dennis Rodman??!”

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“Guilty”

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“Do you take draft picks?”

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong: Isiah Thomas Edition II

January 4, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong”

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“Damn it! Marbury can’t get a call out there… Screw it, I keep it real”

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“Erika!!! Plan B!!!”

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“Heyyyyyy Bobbbyyy!!! Come back to the locker room at half time… I got a special surprise for you”

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“Oh boy”

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“Erika? You in here baby?”

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“Yeah Bobbyyyy, come closer”

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“Oh hey Eddy! If you could just let me through here….”

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“What? Why are you and Zach looking at me like that?”

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“AHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

*Later*

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“Me and the refs had a little chat before the second half about Marbury’s calls. That’s pretty much when things started turning around for us”

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“……………….”

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“Why you always gotta give me that look son”

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong: Stoudamire Edition

December 31, 2007   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong”

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“You sure you can get the stuff through?”

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“Yeah it’s cool…. I have my ways.. You know me Sheed, I keep it real”

*Later*

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“Oh crap”

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“Please remove any metallic items you might be carrying”

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“Uh… Uh…. What metallic items?”

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“Sir, is that tinfoil in your pocket?”

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“No fool! It’s the weed…. I mean no!!”

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“What I meant to say was uh… I’m not carrying weed officer.. I mean tinfoil! I’m not carrying tinfoil!!!”

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“I’m gonna need you to come with me”

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong: Otis Smith Edition

December 30, 2007   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong”

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“So, are we gonna be talking about my contract extension soon?”

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“Oh… Uhh.. Of course.. And what was your name again son?”

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“Darko sir!”

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“Corko, my boy, let me tell you something.. The Magic are doing all they can to sign you! Don’t worry, I keep it real”

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“It’s actually Darko sir! But thank you! I’m so relieved”

*The Next Day*

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“And this will be your office, Mr. Lewis”

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“Hey guys!!! Come on, you know that’s my office! Quit fooling around”

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“Oh Zorko, you didn’t get my fax?”

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“What fax sir?”

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“Look Garko, baby, it’s not really that you’re fired.. But.. Well… Maybe, Rashard can put it into words better than me”

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“Yo’ ass just don’t work here no more”

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“I guess it’s back to my old job”

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When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong: Bryan Colangelo Edition

December 30, 2007   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong”

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“Hey, what do you say we go get a beer after the game”

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“I don’t know if I should Mike.. I have important GM stuff I gotta do”

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“Not even one drink? Looks like Toronto’s made you soft Bryan”

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“I guess one drink couldn’t hurt. I’ll keep it real!”

*The Next Day*

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“Man, my head is killing me! What happened last night Sam? Tell me I didn’t do anything stupid”

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“Well… You did give Kapono a 4 year, 24 million dollar contract”

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“Very funny Sam”

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“Who’s laughing?”

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“You’re not getting me this week, I know it’s not April 1st”

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“…………..”

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“Oh god!”

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong: Isiah Thomas Edition

December 30, 2007   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong”

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“I’ve called this conference today to say the Knicks are moving up a tier in the NBA! I present to you Larry Brown, our new head coach!! We’ll now be fielding questions”

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“Isiah, what do you plan to do about the mismatched talent on this team?”

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“Why you gotta bring that up son? Larry is gonna to take this team to the next level. I guarantee it..”

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“In fact I’ll do better than guarantee… I’ll keep it real! Conference over”

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“Dude, this team sucks!!”

“I know right”

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong: Varejao Edition

December 30, 2007   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong”

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“Pass it right back”

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“No way. I’m keepin’ it real!”

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“Anderson Varejao is gonna take that shot! I can spot a man who keeps it real anywhere Jeff”

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“How do you know what other players are thinking?”

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“I can read minds”

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“Looks like Spurs win Jeff”

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“I’m sorry Lebron. It was my mistake. We’re still cool right?”

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“Sure man. No big deal. Me and you are like this!”

*10 Minutes After Game*

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“Trade his ass Ferry”

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“Yes sir!!!!!”

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“Oh well. I kept it real”

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong: Ainge Edition

December 30, 2007   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong”

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“Danny maybe you can get me some help this year, you know trade some of those draft picks”

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“What?! No! I keep it real! We’re going to get Oden in the draft this year I promise! Now go sit out”

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“Fine!”

*Later*

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“And with the fifth pick in the NBA draft, the Boston Celtics selec-“

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“Oh man then you told Pierce what!”

“I told him I keep it real!”

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong: Artest Edition

December 30, 2007   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong”

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“You know what, it’s not even worth it Wallace”

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“I’m just gonna keep my cool right here”

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“Ahh hell naw!”

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“Keepin’ it real b*tch!!”

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“81 game suspension”

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“I keep it real”

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong: Riley Edition

December 30, 2007   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong”

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“Find me a point guard already Riley!”

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“But everyone’s takin’ Mickey… What do you want me to do?”

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“I don’t care how you do it.. Just do it! You get me?”

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“Don’t worry Pat, I keep it real”

*Later*

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“You sure this is the place Coach?”

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“Yes… This is definitely the place alright”

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“Hi there!!! Can I help you boys out?”

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“Which one of you can play point?!”

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“What’s a point?”

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“How about the veteran’s minimum?”

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“What do you mean sir?”

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“So you wanna play hardball eh? Well you’re messing with the wrong person! Now get in the car!!!”

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“Coach!! Remember what happened last time”

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“Fine!!”

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“How about part of the MLE?”

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“We’re gonna have to ask you to leave sir”

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“Okay, okay… The whole MLE!”

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“Leave now or I’m calling security”

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“Have it your way! I’ll be back… I keep it real”

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