The Adventures of Billy Knight: Episode 1

February 9, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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Mr. Knight who do you plan to draft with the 3rd pick this year?

Any small forwards in this years draft? I don’t know I’ve been on vacation from 2002 on. I’ll have to get back to you

But don’t you think a pg is necessary for success?!

Lolz, please we got Tyrone Lue. Next question

Duncan Vs Crawford

January 30, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


Today on Judge Mathis:
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“A former NBA referee seeks payment for emotional distress”

“The Plaintiff”
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“Your honor, I don’t hand out technicals or eject players on a whim. However, this man smiled at me.”

“The Defendant”
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“I don’t know what Joey is talking about”

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“There look! He’s doing it again”

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“Tim are you smiling over there?”

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“No sir”

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“Don’t play games with me I’m on to you Tim”

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“Frankly Mr. Crawford I don’t see it. Case Dismissed”

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“Bye Joey”

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“Next time Duncan! Next time!”

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“Nah I think I’m gonna be busy looking at these”

The Zeke Files: Kobe Session

January 30, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“I’ve called this session today to announce that the Knicks are doing all they can to get Kobe Bryant on this team”

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“We can put together as competitive a package as anyone else in this league, and the Lakers will have their choice of Marbury or Francis”

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“However, Curry is not on the table. I’m not going to get hustled here. They don’t call me Zeke for nothing”

“How can you possibly believe the Lakers will accept your offer?”

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“Mitch”

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The Zeke Files: Leadership

January 30, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“Now I know a lot of you media folk have been bashing me lately and my comments. But let me assure you that when I say we were the best 33-win team of all time, it’s fact”

“But Isiah what about leadership and taking some accountability for failing to make the playoffs?”

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“Leadership? Leadership?! Son are you really questioning Zeke? I won 2 championships, and when I think of leadership only one person springs to mind.”

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“What about improving the team?”

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“We’ll be looking into trade options over the summer”

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“YES, we’re finally gonna get Mobley like I asked! I knew you’d come through for me Isiah”

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“Quiet down Francis! I forgot you were even still on this team. Anyway that’ll be it for today guys. Everything’s fine in Knicks land I assure you. Be confident in Zeke”

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“Please don’t fire me James”

The Hawks: Episode 1

January 30, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“Why wouldn’t I want the last shot? When I know I’ve already made it”

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“Jason! Jason! Jason!”

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“Jason, snap out of it, what are you doing? Get back on D”

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“You must have been daydreaming again Jason…. I hate to be the one to break this to you, but we’re both still on the Hawks”

The Adventures of Billy Knight: Episode 4

January 30, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“Thank you all for coming. I’ve called this conference today to announce things are changing here on the Hawks. You guys have been criticizing me, but let me tell you I got a huge signing to drop. You’ve seen Childress, and Smith….”

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“But today…. I give you Nash!!! Nash come out here to the podium”

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“Kevin here will be playing Small Forward for us”

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“Steve who?”

The Adventures of Billy Knight: Episode 3

January 30, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“Zaza didn’t come tonight coach, who do we play at C?

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“Oh man this is a tough one”

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“Claxton get out there and guard Dwight”

“But coach!”

“But nothing! That’s why they pay me the big bucks!”

*2 years later*

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“Psh, Billy shouldn’t have we got Adelman?”

“Nah son it’s cool, I’m going back to Vegas”

The Adventures of Billy Knight: Episode 2

January 30, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“Nice to see you back here Rick! Who do you plan to draft from the lotto this year”

“Well you know we’ve been looking at alot of players, but it’ll probably be some random 7’0 footer from overseas.”

“What about Durant?”

“Oh yeah yeah! You’re right, I’m not sure who we’ll trade him for yet”

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“This is bull! That pick should be mine, the whole lotto system is bull”

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“That’s too bad lolz 4th pick”

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“I never thought I’d say this but send me to Atlanta”

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“Ohhh… Sorry Pau, we kind of need a wing player right now. Don’t take it personally. Looks like I gotta go.”

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Where Amazing Happens

January 30, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“Where Amazing Happens”


“I got fifty on Dirk missing his next free throws”

“No way man… He’s gonna make at least one!”

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“Hey guys what do you think you’re doing over there?”

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“Oh… Uh nothing Tim…”

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“Yeah right, now let me in… I want some action, put me down for a hundred”

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“Okay, now let’s make this happen”

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“What?! That wasen’t a foul!!!”

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“I do believe that was bullsh*t sir”

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“Come on you bastard miss it!!!”

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“Damn”

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“Yess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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“Wait a second… Why were you so happy just now?”

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“Uh… Uh… Nothing! How about twenty dollars?”

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“Both teams played hard”

Bulls Still Eyeing Gasol

January 30, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


RealGM Wiretap Reports: Bulls Still Eyeing Gasol
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“Peeping Paxson”

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“But dad!!! Why can’t I go?!”

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“I told you I don’t want you going over that place. That man wouldn’t even serve me food on his good china!”

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“I expect my food to be served on a Deng, not some crappy brown plate.. Not to mention that P.J sandwich was stale. Probably been sitting there for years!”

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“I hate you… You never let me do anything”

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“I have no problem with your hate Pau. More importantly… That lottery ticket you gave me was a bust!”

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“I ask you just this one time to get me the winning number, and you predictably fail me… And damn it, Pau… Go shave already!”

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“You sure this is a good idea Pax?”

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“Of course it is! Now come on, stop being such a puss! We’re not gonna get caught… And even if we do, I’ll be right there with you”

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“Oh my god, Andres! I think I saw stubble!”

“Let me see! Let me see!”

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“Who’s out there?!”

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“Hey where you going? I thought you said you’d be right there!”

*Later*

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“Sorry about earlier, Noc… So, how’d you get away?”

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“I played dead”

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“Noc, you flopping bastard! I never doubted you”