“Thank you all for coming. I’ve called this conference today to announce things are changing here on the Hawks. You guys have been criticizing me, but let me tell you I got a huge signing to drop. You’ve seen Childress, and Smith….”
“But today…. I give you Nash!!! Nash come out here to the podium”
“Kevin here will be playing Small Forward for us”
“Steve who?”
“Zaza didn’t come tonight coach, who do we play at C?
“Oh man this is a tough one”
“Claxton get out there and guard Dwight”
“But coach!”
“But nothing! That’s why they pay me the big bucks!”
*2 years later*
“Psh, Billy shouldn’t have we got Adelman?”
“Nah son it’s cool, I’m going back to Vegas”
“Nice to see you back here Rick! Who do you plan to draft from the lotto this year”
“Well you know we’ve been looking at alot of players, but it’ll probably be some random 7’0 footer from overseas.”
“What about Durant?”
“Oh yeah yeah! You’re right, I’m not sure who we’ll trade him for yet”
“This is bull! That pick should be mine, the whole lotto system is bull”
“That’s too bad lolz 4th pick”
“I never thought I’d say this but send me to Atlanta”
“Ohhh… Sorry Pau, we kind of need a wing player right now. Don’t take it personally. Looks like I gotta go.”
“Where Amazing Happens”
“I got fifty on Dirk missing his next free throws”
“No way man… He’s gonna make at least one!”
“Hey guys what do you think you’re doing over there?”
“Oh… Uh nothing Tim…”
“Yeah right, now let me in… I want some action, put me down for a hundred”
“Okay, now let’s make this happen”
“What?! That wasen’t a foul!!!”
“I do believe that was bullsh*t sir”
“Come on you bastard miss it!!!”
“Damn”
“Yess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Wait a second… Why were you so happy just now?”
“Uh… Uh… Nothing! How about twenty dollars?”
“Both teams played hard”
RealGM Wiretap Reports: Bulls Still Eyeing Gasol
“Peeping Paxson”
“But dad!!! Why can’t I go?!”
“I told you I don’t want you going over that place. That man wouldn’t even serve me food on his good china!”
“I expect my food to be served on a Deng, not some crappy brown plate.. Not to mention that P.J sandwich was stale. Probably been sitting there for years!”
“I hate you… You never let me do anything”
“I have no problem with your hate Pau. More importantly… That lottery ticket you gave me was a bust!”
“I ask you just this one time to get me the winning number, and you predictably fail me… And damn it, Pau… Go shave already!”
“You sure this is a good idea Pax?”
“Of course it is! Now come on, stop being such a puss! We’re not gonna get caught… And even if we do, I’ll be right there with you”
“Oh my god, Andres! I think I saw stubble!”
“Let me see! Let me see!”
“Who’s out there?!”
“Hey where you going? I thought you said you’d be right there!”
*Later*
“Sorry about earlier, Noc… So, how’d you get away?”
“I played dead”
“Noc, you flopping bastard! I never doubted you”
“The Official 2007 NBA Draft Summary: Part 2”
“New Jersey Nets”
“Rod Thorn, what made you look past Shawne’s off the court issues?”
“Well, he only smokes it in his spare time Mike!! I don’t see an issue”
“He’s gonna love it here”
“Not now Cliff!!!”
“Atlanta Hawks”
“Billy, promise me you’ll take Conley with the 3rd pick!!”
“Okay, okay!! I promise”
*Later*
“I took a forward”
“The Official 2007 NBA Draft Summary: Part 1”
“Golden State Warriors”
“Chris Mullin, we need to know! Why did you decide to trade for Wright?”
“Well Brandon Wright is as looonnnnnnngg as anything… What?”
“Huh, huh… Long”
“Los Angles Lakers”
“Let me tell you something right now!! Sun Yue, is going to be the chinese Toni Kukoc!”
“Not only that but his favorite rapper is Usher! Kobe’s gotta be a happy man out there Jay”
“Milwaukee Bucks”
“Yi! How do you feel about being selected to the Milwaukee Bucks?!!!
“Well its opportunity for Yi…. I get to play in NBA and…. and.. I can’t do this. Yi hate Bucks!! Help me Stuart, help me escape!!!!!”
“Classic Draft Day Blunders”
“Joe, I’ve thought it over… I think we should get Carmelo Anthony”
“Sorry Larry, but my mind’s made up. Darko has all the skillz, he’s gonna be the next Dirk. You’ll see, I’m a genius”
*Later*
“Coach, what play were we running again?”
“Oh you guys just haven’t seen Darko in practice. Dude’s the Serbian Gangster no joke. You heard it here first. Both teams played hard”
“Well Darko is a fine talent and we’re happy to have him on this team. You might be wondering about his lack of minutes…”
“Let me assure you, I have found a special position on the Pistons for someone with Darko’s abilities!”
“The following takes place between 12:00 PM and 1:00 PM”
“Now I just need to find a car to hotwire and I get out of here”
“Ford F-150… Perfect”
“Hey… Hey!!! Come back here!”
“What’s going on out here?! Where’s Divac?!”
“Damn it Agent Nash! Anybody not get past you? He drove right through that lane and you did nothing!”
“I didn’t have enough time to react!”
“You never do…”
“Well at least I managed to snag his cellphone. Only one problem… It’s badly messed up. We’re gonna have to head back to CTU”
“Guys you know I can’t go back there. You know what happened….”
“You helped us back there Agent Zero, and we need all the help we can get! Besides, Agent Lebron got permission to travel in Washington.”
“Jack’s right there’s a far bigger problem right now at the top of CTU”
“I don’t understand… There’s a new head?”
“Yes… A man who hates it when you even breath in his presence.. He initiates contact on his own, even when you just want to do your damn job and stay the hell away.”
“Head Director of CTU…. Mr. Wade”
“The following takes place between 11:00 AM and 12:00 PM”
“I still don’t understand one thing Divac.. Why?”
“Why? Why! I was traded to the freaking Hornets because of your friend there. Vlade Divac does not play on Hornets!”
“I’m sorry Vlade”
“Sorry won’t cut it. Imagine me superstar Vlade Divac play on Hornets. Too late for apologies Bryant”
“Forget it Agent Bryant, the man is clearly insane”
“Vlade may be alot of things. But he not insane enough to want to play on Hornets”
“Let them go or I keep shooting!”
“Try it. I dare you”
“Jack who could it be? He just keeps shooting and shooting from long range. He’s barely hit anyone”
“His efficiency is atrocious Kobe… It could only mean one person… Agent Zero”
“Oh!! I’ve been hit!”
“You guys okay? I came here as fast I could. I would have come faster but I kept dropping my weapon”
“Your reckless ways almost put us out. But for once I’m happy to see you Agent Zero”
“Well, I’m not happy to see you. Your idiocy cost us our one lead. Without Divac we have nothing! I’d rather still be chained to the wall”
“I flopped you idiots!!! Time to make my escape!”
“Damn it!!! Agent Zero you never hit anything under pressure!”
“Sorry Jack. It’s never been the same since I lost to Agent Lebron”
“Forget that guys, Divac dropped his cellphone… I think we got ourselves a a lead”