The James Harden Trade Was The Worst Trade of All Time

April 2, 2013   ·   No Comments   ·   By


There they were. Stallions riding into the sunset that is the NBA finals. Moments away from receiving the privilege of being eliminated by the Miami Heats. The American dream. Shattered, taken away floating into a wind of failure with only the musky silhouette of Kenbrick Perkins rising up to show for it.

Amnesty?

No. Why amnesty today when you can trade a top 6 franchise player tomorrow? My friends these are the times that define the haves and the havenots. The Apples from the Lenovos. The Kardashian to your washed up obese hog of a highschool sweetheart. And when the dust settled the magnificent beard was gone and only Kevin Martin lay on your doorstep. Imagine thousands of years ago, opening your door expecting the baby Jesus and finding Kevin Martin as you uncovered your newly born. And a Jeremy Lamb freebie. The horror, my friends. The unspeakable horror!

You wish for Dynasty? But draw mere laughs. You wish to let the beard reign wild and free. And contendership was possible because of the big three. But now the dust has settled and days gone by when OKC could get that championship pie. They wanted Ibaka, they wanted Perks, no luxury taxes and the whole works.

Forever gone the days of old, forever trading top 6 players for fools gold. But he can score off the bench just like Harden they said! As fans looked on with dread. The day will come when the San Antonio crew makes a run. And the only trade worse than the Harden trade will be: none.

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The Tortoise and the Hare

February 9, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“The Tortoise and the Hare”

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“Once upon a time, the hare was in his prime”

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“But no matter how high his hop, he was always stopped by Pop”

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“As the sun rose up in the sky, it was time to give it one more try”

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“Run and gun the coach embraced, yet no championship was won in haste”

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“Continually stocking, the hare kept on mocking”

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“No longer in pain, but still just as vain”

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“Their center came back, yet defense he lacked”

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“Though slow and steady, the tortoise would surely be ready”

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“As the hare took the early lead, it appeared the sun would rise indeed”

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“But another tortoise named Rob, would soon make them sob”

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“The hare named Nash, would take a rather large splash”

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“And when another hare ran up a storm, the referees would quickly swarm”

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“Suspended he would be, no matter what the plea”

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“He admitted to making a mistake, but bitter fans kept yelling it’s all fake”

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“When the loss inevitable came, they still cried fake all the same”

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“No shame in sight, they continued to put up a fight”

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“Even after the tortoise won it all, they continued to bawl”

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“And so another year passed, maybe the sixty-one wins came fast”

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“But trophy wise, they were no better than last”

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“Slow and steady had won the race, defense had always been the case”

Hansel and Gretel

February 9, 2008   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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“Hansel and Gretel”

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“Once upon a time, a man had not a dime”

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“He was being eaten out of house and home, he could not let this child simply roam”

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“If the child kept being fed, Pax could not see a life ahead”

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“So he allowed him to go with little Zach, and search around for many a snack”

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“Candies and chocolates galore, but they always just wanted more”

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“Soon they came across a small Frye, who could do no better than cry”

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“Don’t eat me he said, I can offer you something instead”

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“Follow these pieces of bread, and I promise you will be fed”

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“Now let me be free, a feast I guarantee”

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“So they decided to follow the trail, after Zach stopped off in jail”

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“When the authorities found no weed, little Eddie knew it was time to feed”

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“They soon came across a store, and started knocking on the door”

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“Invited inside, they just couldn’t decide”

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“What would you like Isiah inquired, you both look quite tired”

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“Looking on with most delight, little Eddie wanted everything in sight”

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“And poor little Zach, he was having a big mac attack”

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“Come let me fatten you up, just have another cup”

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“Go to that cage little Curry, there is no need to worry”

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“And you can serve me little Zach, here go check on that rack”

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“Little Zach sensed something wrong, but decided to play along”

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“Come check this fryer Zach said, and then hit Isiah right in the head”

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“And so little Eddie and Zach were free, it was time for another spree”

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“Let the people be scared, as no buffet would be spared”