Breaking News: Lebron James Wants Dwyane Wade Traded For Chris Paul

July 26, 2010   ·   1 Comment   ·   By

Trouble is reportedly brewing in Miami as new superstar Lebron James has privately requested that fellow teammate Dwyane Wade be traded for Hornets star, Chris Paul.

Lebron’s friend and agent, Maverick Carter, is already rumored to be selling another one hour special to ESPN entitled, The Decision: Part II.

The self proclaimed ‘King’ James will put Wade on the hotseat, and decide if he truly wants him on the team or wish him best on his future endeavors in New Orleans.

Gilbert Arenas Blames Halo

April 29, 2010   ·   No Comments   ·   By

Gilbert Arenas has given a statement to the media today stating it’s not his fault.

Gil says he was emotionally invested by the videogame known as ‘Halo’ and was caught up in a world not his own.

“I didn’t know what I was doing. I wasn’t in control. I thought I was Master Chief but probably I was just an idiot.”

Gilbert is believed to be one of 14 players who still refuse to disconnect from Halo 2’s online service going by the handle ‘xxGILBOWIZJAILxx’

Submit Your Own Headlines!

November 22, 2009   ·   No Comments   ·   By

BSPN believes in double checking our sources, which is why we have an open submission system! Anyone can post literally anyone, as long as it involves:

Lebron, LBJ, Lebron James to the Knicks, Lebron James wears Yankee cap, Lebron James spotted with Jay Z (in NYC), Lebron James pisses in nyc bathroom, Lebron marks territory etc.

Go on! Submit!!!

Rubio Will Play For Timberwolves, If Franchise Is Relocated

July 16, 2009   ·   No Comments   ·   By

Rubio’s agent Dan Fegan has given notice to the Timberwolves that Ricky loves the franchise, and can’t wait to play for them.

However, he feels the Timberwolves would be better off in another city, preferably one with beaches and beautiful women. So not Minnesota.

“We’re not asking for much, Ricky and me simply feel the Timberwolves would be better off somewhere else” Fegan stated.

Rubio has also requested Johnny Flynn remain in Minnesota after the Timberwolves find a new home.

Rasheed Will Retire If Forced To Start

July 14, 2009   ·   2 Comments   ·   By

Rasheed Wallace has threatened to retire if the Celtics choose to place him in the starting lineup.

“I can’t be effective playing this way. I’m not used to it. It’s tough for me both mentally and physically.

Friends close to Wallace say he wants to shoot threes from the bench and no more than 1-2 minutes per game.

Donnie Walsh Rejected, Throws Tantrum

July 12, 2009   ·   1 Comment   ·   By

Donnie Walsh was given the cold shoulder and had his advances rejected earlier this week. Both Jason Kidd as well as Grant Hill gave the greenlight to call, and even personally stored their numbers in Walsh’s cell.

However, neither picked up. After listening to Jason’s voicemail seventeen times in one hour, Walsh knew it was over.

Internal sources say Walsh went into a frenzy, screaming about how “he doesn’t need Kidd or Grant anyway”, writing 2010 all over his office walls, and demanding everyone hold hands and pray for Lebron.

One anonymous source claimed complete madness, citing one employee who was fired for failing to drink vitamin water. Another employee was similarly let go for forgetting a new Knicks policy of not shaking hands in preparation for James.

Nike: ‘Dunk’ Tape Will Be Auctioned For Charity

July 11, 2009   ·   1 Comment   ·   By

BSPN has learned the now infamous dunk tape will be auctioned for charity. The winner however, will have to sign off on one agreement.

Nike has attached a ‘no Youtube’ clause meaning the winner can not show the video nor spread it around the internet.

Only one person will enjoy the schadenfreude of the shameful dunk. No one else.

Rumor has it Lakers Kobe Bryant and Ron Artest as well as Heat guard Dwayne Wade are among the prospective bidders.

The auction will begin at noon tommorow at

NBA League Office Gets High Grade For Female Employees – Isiah Thomas No Longer An Employee

June 10, 2009   ·   No Comments   ·   By

The New York Times reports the NBA as a leading employer for women for 2009.

Coincidentally, FIU is no longer a leading employer for women. Isiah Thomas could not be reached to comment.

Derrick Rose: That Was A Close One

June 2, 2009   ·   No Comments   ·   By

Chicago Bulls fans can rest easy tonight knowning there is no proof of Derrick Rose SAT sheningans. 

Several likely suspects were tested, however, none scored quite low enough to provide evidence of tampering.