Elite Xtreme Comedy

February 15, 2009   ·   No Comments   ·   By


There comes a time in every company’s life where decisions have to be made. Xtreme decisions. So ‘Xtreme’ that the company folds hilariously days later. Today we take a look at one company’s rise to the top! Their journey from CBS to PBS, and how to properly build a company around some guy you saw on Youtube.

October 2008. EliteXC is slowly gaining viewership. But they’re hurting, Shamwow commercials prove to be stiff competition and it looks like reaching the coveted 1.0 rating will never happen. For months, EliteXC had relied on a steady stream of viewers who had forgotten to turn off their TV when their program came on. Then suddenly like all great things that never last, cable boxes start to come out with a feature to auto-shut off. Alas, ratings are slashed in half. The company panics and an emergency board meeting is called.

Discussions are held to decide whose at fault. Executive hands tremble as they attempt to deflect the blame to the cable companies. Amidst the chaos the answer comes. Kimbo Slice. “Well he kind of looked like Mr. T”, recalls David Marshall, former Chairmen of EliteXC. Marshall had spent the last year in isolation watching videos on the internet, this was a man who knew what was up. Mainly losing millions of dollars annually. Slice,was ready for the big time, for prime time.

It was on. EliteXC would obtain legendary UFC fighter Ken Shamrock to take on Kimbo. Shamrock, more famously known for having his ‘sister’ sleep with pro-wrestling superstar Val Venis, would do his best to promote the fight. He just wasn’t serious about actually fighting. “I was just playing guys”, recalls Shamrock. In a desperate last ditch move to save the event, EliteXC would choose former Ultimate Fighter trainee and rejected UFC fighter Seth Petruzelli to do the honors. EliteXC would bank on Kimbo easily finishing a youngster like Seth and continuing his legend.

Naturally, Seth would go on to easily beat Kimbo in fourteen seconds by TKO. CBS dropped the show, Kimbo went back to Youtube, and the company would close a week later. In a final address to EliteXC fans, former Chairmen David Marshall had this to say, “But, would I do it all over again? Yes… I wouldn’t change a thing”

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong: Randy Couture Edition

January 26, 2009   ·   No Comments   ·   By


At 45 years old, Randy Couture had it all. Money, fame, a distinctly shiny head. There was even talk Randy was about to land a major prime time gig on television!

Alas it was not the right time and the chance to star in a breakthrough role as Mr. Clean was lost… Pretty much when the company remembered they could just hire some ‘animators’ overseas  for half a rupee a year . No matter, Randy was on top of the world! He knew negotiations would resume if he just had one more fight, the fight to end all fights.


Unfortunately, this was the picture Randy would receive from the UFC upon requesting a challenger. This ‘Brock’ looked like nothing more than mere accountant fodder. And so it wouldn’t be long before Randy used his intuition to decide this was the man he wanted to face after having spent the last year at home watching Murphy Brown reruns.

Randy knew what he was doing, he was ‘the natural’, this ‘Brock’ was a nobody. Randy would train by new age radical methods. Mainly purchasing Smackdown for Playstation and beating Brock in it. A ‘simulation’ if you will. Oh it was on, and no accountant pro wrestler would stand in the way of Randy’s rightful place as king of the octagon!

Upon arriving to the press conference Randy asked the reporters where this ‘Brock’ was because he needed someone to do his taxes.


Then Brock entered the room.

Randy Couture Shocked

It was in this moment Randy made the decision. The decision to Keep it Real. Sure this Lesnar outweighed him by a good 50 pounds, but damn it he was a pro wrestler! This would be another David Vs Goliath style fight. Except the last time Randy had used a slingshot he was forty years younger. And slingshots weren’t allowed in the octagon.

Randy Couture Vs Brock Lesnar

This would definitely go well

UFC 91 Brock Lesnar Vs Randy Couture

Hmmm… Maybe not.

UFC fans would go into a state of shock and denial. ‘Captain America’, the reigning UFC champion, had just been taken down by a pro wrestler and a Rock Bottom was not even involved.

Brock Lesnar staredown

Just another example of what can happen when Keeping it Real Goes Wrong