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“How To Draft A Bust”

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“Forget that guy Larry! My dude is like totally European and sh*t”

Step 1: Locating Talent
When drafting a bust, scouting is vital. You don’t want just any kind of bust! Nooo sirr. He needs to meet very specific criteria. To all you aspiring GMs out there, I say worry no more! I’m letting the secrets loose! This handy guide will help you on your journey…

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The Utah Jazz Method:
Draft the white guy. A tried and true method perfected by the Jazz. Here’s a leaked Utah memo I’ve managed to covertly uncover!

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If you answered something else than ‘C’, well, you failed! That’s just not the Jazz way. Here, take a look at the rich line of busts Utah’s produced.

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Notice anything? If you don’t, you probably don’t belong on the Jazz. However, even if you did, don’t think ole’ Larry H. Miller is going to come calling just yet! There is a central part to using the Utah Jazz method that is key. This is what separates the men from the boys, my friends. It’s…

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‘The Distraction’

If you’re not careful using the Utah Jazz Method, people might start asking questions. You want to put a stop to this right away! Simply go against the basic drafting principle of the Jazz method every few years, and no one will be the wiser! Just remember, any time a person starts up trouble, point away and say ‘but what about that guy’. It’s flawless.

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*Alternative Zeke Method*

Simply take all the rules from the Jazz method, and reverse them! Here is a pie chart for all you visual learners,

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That’s it for now! Stay tuned as we continue down all methods later this week and finish up Step 1 of ‘How to Draft A Bust’! This is going to be a long guide… But nobody said drafting a bust was easy! Till next time, I’m OneAnswer!


Readers Comments (1)

  1. Tim

    genius stuff, hilarious

     Reply




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