Mike James demands a trade

After a big day of trades with names such as Dominic McGuire, Brian Cardinal, Darko Milicic and Primoz Brezec moved Mike James Felt left out. “I mean I feel so happy for the stars that got removed today. I wish I could be like Dominic McGuire and not be on the Wizards”.

The trade deadline has passed but that didn’t stop Mike James from demanding a trade. “Ernie (referring to Wizards general manager) I know the deadline has passed but I demand a trade. The deadline should not stop you from trading, you cant let the league control you like this, its not right. its like racism except with out being racist”.

Mike James a 10 time…. well actually he has accomplished nothing in his NBA career and is a career backup. It is quite obvious why the Wizards should be getting hit with tons of trade offers. Lebron James said it best: “It would be an honor to play with a point guard like Mike James. He is the best backup PG in the history of the NBA and he should be acquired asap”. Mike Brown agreed. “If we acquire Mike James we could have TWO guys with the last name James. If we put mike james on steroids hey! he might even look like lebron and be a good decoy”.

Stay tuned and see if the trade happens

Charlotte Bobcats score first points of the season

With a gerald wallace driving layup, the bobcats have officially scored their first points oof the season. “This is such a great accomplishment” said wallace, who has racked up 4 points for his career as a bobcat.

The bobcats went on to lose the game 84-2 (they play defense), but Larry Brown was still very excited about the steps that had been made by his defensive minded team.

Sam Cassell Returns to the League

Forgoing his job as assistant coach of the tumultuous Washington Wizards, the former player who has been compared to E.T. has decided to come out of retirement and take the helm as the PG of the New Jersey Nets.
“Man, I think the Nets got a lot of potential and just need that driving force and that’s me. I’m determined to make these guys championship players and it’ll start with CDR, shoot, that boy one of the best in the league,” said Cassell when asked about his decision.
It has been confirmed that Cassell will suit up tonight vs Miami and he will wearing number 69.

Yi Jianlian Records 2 Assists In One Game

In a shocking turn of events, Nets forward Yi Jianlian has finally managed to achieve what looked like the impossible; recording more than one assist in a game.

Coach Vandeweghe is said to be “very pleased” with Yi’s achievement & now sees Yi as a “near flawless” player.

Howard slams Shaq! Who is the real Superman?

Orlando Magic Superstar Dwight Howard had some harsh words for fellow center Shaquille O’neal. Howard said that Shaq should shut up about the whole Superman thing, because according to Howard:

“Superman was never fat. Shaq is more like a clown version of The Thing. He can’t even jump, let another fly”.

Shaq has yet to answer the young center.

Dwyane Wade traded to the Bulls!

In a shocking trade, superstar Dwyane Wade will join the Chicago Bulls in a trade that involved Tyrus Thomas and Kirk Hinrich.
Wade will be the first superstar to the play for the Bulls since the great Michael Jordan.

The Chicago Bulls also expect to sign another superstar in the summer. Chris Bosh and Lebron James are the main targets.

Report: Clippers to acquire Dwight Howard

LOS ANGELES — The Los Angeles Clippers are set to acquire center Dwight Howard from the Orlando Magic for Chris Kaman and two first round picks. The deal is pending league approval. Clippers infamous general manager and beloved ex coach Mike Dunleavy described the trade as follows: ” YES YES YES CLIPPER NATION GOING TO THE TOP B******, WERE GONNA FINALLY BE THE KINGS OF LA ! ” Magic coach Stan Van Gundy says that Kaman brings versatility to the team that loves to take threes and was intrigued of the possibility of bringing Kaman in. Van Gundy said ” Well you know he’s an allstar this year and since he’s white that means threes baby and you know we love threes. We’ve also been sick of Dwight’s incessant complaints for shots and inability to shoot worth a damn as well as his love affair with that fattass Barkley.” One western conference executive described the trade as: ” It’s definitely the apocalypse. I mean seriously the Clippers are going to be good for once? Ha, Dwight will probably tear both ACL’s before ever suiting up a game for them knowing their luck.” Dwight declined comment and was reported seen crying burning his Magic jerseys.

LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers wins his 2nd MVP Award

LeBron James won his 2nd straight NBA MVP Award after leading the Cleveland Cavaliers to 65 wins in the Regular Season.

LeBron averaged 29.9 ppg, 8.3 apg, and 7.2 apg in 38 mpg.

The Golden State Warriors: Where bench players turn stars

The Golden State Warriors have a promotion going this year as you know. They Guarantee that one of your scrub players can drop 25 on them. Just ask some of there satisfied customers.

Shannon Brown: It just feels great to play the Warriors. I mean Im a guy that averages like 5 points a game but thanks to the Warriors I can drop 27 and feel like an actual NBA player.

Sasha Pavlovic: Man it just felt great, especially because im white. Im a white NBA player and I scored 17 in a game vs a real actual NBA team. I mean my mom doesn’t believe me neither does my dad but this is still a great accomplishment to me.

Mickael Pietrus: God playing the Warriors is like having sex with Jessica Alba. You will score a lot. Trust me I scored.

Brian Cardinal: I scored 2 points vs the Warriors. Im fat, Im white and Im single. This is the accomplishment of a life time: THANK YOU GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS.

DeShawn Stevenson: Man oh man I love the Warriors. Tonight I had a season high 1 point vs them. Man I was excited when I made that sexy ass free throw. I actually got to wave my hand in the air like a douche bag. Thank you golden state Warriors. I no longer have to youtube my high school career to remember what myself making a shot looks like.

Louis Amundson: I frolic around like a little girl wearing a pony tail during an NBA game and I scored 8 points vs this team! *queer girl giggle*

Steve Novak: I scored 3 points against this team. However scoring is not normal for me. So I was scared to shoot again because I didn’t want to lose playing time. Thank you Golden State warriors.

Has your teams local scrub played the Warriors? Be apart of the promotion now!

Eddy Curry Back to the Bulls

The Knicks made a desperation move Wednesday. They traded Eddy Curry to the Bulls for a bag of basketballs and 2 unpretected first round picks in 2013 and 2014. The Bulls signed the basketballs to a 1 year 10 million dollar deal and immedietly traded them to the Knicks. Out raged fans over whelmed Donnie Walsh with questions on why he would make such a trade. Donnie Walsh immedietly shut down the fans…

“What would those draft picks have practiced with? We don’t have any basketballs, how are we going to practice?”

Maybey the Knicks not practicing has lead to their poor play as of late. They are currently 14 games under 500.

Eddy Curry was asked to comment.

“Ima have a triple double tonight.”

Obviously Eddy Curry is not happy about the trade and wants to take revenge tonight when the Knicks play the Bulls.

-By Bano114.